I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, even before I got pregnant. I thought I was going to be this super chic mom, who would be able to whip out her tit out at brunch and have Everly latch on and go on with whatever conversation I was in the middle of. NEWS FLASH, it doesn’t work out like that. Nothing can prepare you for all the challenges that nursing can bring. Breastfeeding is hard. Like really fucking hard. Your nipples hurt, your boobs get engorged, you’re wondering if your baby is getting enough milk- which is a total mind fuck. Your baby doesn’t want the boob, you’re waking up in the middle of the night to pump, your milk supply drops, and your schedule literally revolves around when your baby needs the boob. Our bodies also hangs on to the last 10 pounds of weight, so that’s fun. It’s a full time job, but I do have to say that when all the stars align and it works, it is oh so very magical. I love my special time with Everly for her first feeding. It’s the only feeding that is easy for us, and I look forward to it every morning. The health benefits can’t be beat, which is why I’ve fought so hard to make this work. I’ve passed the 6-month mark, and I am so beyond proud of myself. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Normally when the going gets rough I throw in the towel ( the worst trait ever- I’m working on it), but I’ve held on and will continue to for HOPEFULLY 1 year. If i’ve learned anything from new mom life, it’s that things can’t be planned. So I am taking it day by day, month by month, with the very hopeful goal of 1 year. Below, I wanted to share some little tidbits of advice that I wish I would have known ahead of time. Every experience is so different, but I hope that if you are a soon to be mama, or in the thick of it you will find this helpful.
Did you hire a lactation consultant?
Yes! And I would totally recommend to anyone that they hire a Lactation consultant as soon as they get home. They know the ins and outs of breastfeeding. Everly was born on a holiday weekend, so we weren’t able to meet with someone at the hospital, but I would have still wanted someone for as soon as we got home. Real life kicks in when you leave the hospital, and you want someone there who can really help guide you in the right direction. I think having that kind of support from the very beginning sets you up for success. Also, you will then have access to them via text message for any other issues that may arise.
How did you deal with the pain in the very beginning?
Ugh, I remember that all too well. Freeing the nipples really helped me with nipple pain. If you have cracks or you’re bleeding, let them get air! I would just walk around the house topless as much as I could and I swear it made all the difference. I also loved THESE nipple shields. Whenever I HAD to wear a bra, I would put these on underneath with a little breast milk on the nipple and it would help them heal faster. You just have to push through the pain. Especially in the beginning. It hurts, like A LOT, but I promise this hurdle goes by quickly. I would say after 2 weeks my nipples didn’t hurt at all anymore. My boobs were still getting engorged, but you kind of just learn to live with it. I PROMISE, YOU WILL HIT A POINT WHERE THIS PART IS JUST A DISTANT MEMORY.
Anything you wish you would have done differently?
YES!! I wish I would have continued to pump early on. I had an oversupply in the beginning, so in order to normalize I stopped pumping. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I wish I would have built up a huge freezer supply, it would have made my life so much easier in the long run. BUT we live and we learn, right? *With that being said. Just remember that if you and your baby are around someone who is sick, you body will create antibodies that will be passed on through your breast milk to your baby – helping them to not get sick. Also, our breast milk changes as our babies grow to accommodate them,so if you can, mix up their frozen milk with current milk.
Are you pumping and breastfeeding? How many times a day do you pump?
Yes! I am. Everly sometimes prefers the bottle, but I always offer her the boob first for her daytime feedings. Her first feeding is strictly boob. I wake up engorged, so I think she enjoys how fast the milk is coming out. Her two afternoon feedings are always a challenge. Most of the time she takes the boob and then I top her off with 2 ounces in a bottle. For her last feeding she strictly gets 6 ounces in a bottle. She was always so fussy at nighttime, and once we started sleep training her I wanted to know 1000% that she was getting enough.
In terms of pumping, I pump after every feeding and sometimes in the middle of the night. It’s obviously annoying to have to pump so much, but having piece of mind that there is enough milk in the fridge makes it all worth it. My biggest piece of advice for the first couple of months is to PUMP, PUMP, PUMP. Build a freezer supply. Have it as a back up. I ended up hurting my neck really badly, and was on major pain meds and having that freezer supply saved me. Plus, I would rather have more milk than she needs, then just enough. Keeps my sanity!
OUR FEEDING SCHEDULE
7am Boob and pump
11am boob and pump
3pm boob and pump
6pm bottle
7/8 pump
1230am *sometimes pump
How many times a day do you breastfeed?
When Everly was just born it was every 3 hours- counting down from when I started feeding her. So if I fed her at 12pm, she would eat again at 3pm. Once she gained her hospital weight back I preferred to have a set time, give or take 30 mins when I would feed her. It gave me the ability to plan around her feeding, and give myself time to do things I needed to do aka work out. On average, it would be 4 hours between each feeding. All babies vary and this is what worked best for us. I also kept a notebook of how long she was on each boob, and what boob she started on, so I would know for the next feeding. Now that she is a big girl, I have her on a strict schedule for her feedings and her naps. She now gets breast milk 4x a day and solid foods 3x a day.
What is the most difficult part about breastfeeding?
The struggle is forever changing. Once I feel like I get through one hurdle, another one presents itself. The most difficult part in the beginning was trying to guess how much she was getting. The sore nipples, and the engorgement I could handle. But the anxiety of wondering if she was drinking enough milk was definitely the hardest part. I had to surrender and realize that I can’t control everything. As long as she is gaining weight, and making enough pees and poops she is totally fine. Now at the 6 months old I find the hardest parts to be keeping up with the pumping, and having her want to breastfeed. The two afternoon feedings are challenging, but some days she makes it easy for me and I love her for that. Contrary to how natural breastfeeding may seem, it is challenging all around. Some days are easier than others, but I think the most important thing to do is just stick with it! But at the same time if it’s not working for you, then go to plan B. The best baby is a fed baby….that’s all that really matters!
What pump do you use?
I have the Spectra S2, which I got through insurance. I am also renting the hospital grade Medela Symphony for $80 a month from our local pharmacy. Because I am pumping so much, I feel like the Medela is a little less harsh on my nipples. Besides that, I feel like I get the same amount of milk from both of them. I would totally recommend either one of these!
My boobs never seem to empty regardless of how much I feed her or pump..
That sounds a lot how I was during the first weeks of breastfeeding. No matter how much I fed her or pumped, within the hour I felt like I was full again. I ended up slowly dropping the pumping sessions and that helped normalize my supply. If I had a time machine to go back, I would have continued to pump and build up a freezer supply. BF is supply and demand, and eventually I would imagine it has to normalize.
Advice for when milk production has slowed down?
This is what I was/am dealing with. It got so bad that I bought some formula to have as a back up because I didn’t think I would be able to get it back up again. Legendairy Milk makes amazing products. I got the pump princess and the liquid gold. I would try one at a time and see what works for you. If your baby likes nursing, then offer them the boob as much as possible. That is the best thing you could do. If they prefer the bottle then PUMP, PUMP, PUMP! I now pump as soon as she is done nursing. I also started waking up in the middle of the night to pump for like 5-7 mins, and that really helped. I don’t do it every night because I want a solid nights sleep. But getting those extra 3-4 ounces a couple times a week makes a huge difference for me. Hydrate like a crazy woman. I also eat oatmeal for a snack, and will sip on mother milks tea. Not sure if those help, but I enjoy them so it works for me. In reality, at a certain point our supply is going to normalize and only produce what the baby needs.
How did you prevent Mastitis?
I was very lucky and never had to deal with full-blown Mastitis. I had a small scare about 3 weeks after Everly was born. It was a clogged duct, which if not taken care of could have led to Mastitis. I got a high fever, and felt like I was hit by a truck. I took hospital strength ibuprofen, put hot compresses on my boobs, continued to nurse and pump, and slept as much as I could. By the next morning I felt like a new person. You have to be very consistent and not miss a feeding. If you can’t offer your boob, or they don’t want it, then you must pump. When you’re showering, stand under the warm water and massage your boobs. Feel around for the clogged ducts, and help massage them out. Put a hot compress on your boobs before feeding or pumping, it will help the milk come out faster. Just be careful with too much heat, as that can make you produce more milk. There’s such a fine line with all of this stuff, listen to your body and see what makes those boobies feel better! Hydrate, sleep, and take care of yourself! All of these things seemed to work for me!
Did you incorporate pumping/bottle feeding early on so you didn’t have to do all the feeds yourself?
Yes, I did! I was so nervous about giving her a bottle because of nipple confusion/ the pressures of exclusively breastfeeding- which btw I only put on myself. But I also love my sleep, and felt I would be a better mom to Everly if I was rested and not so exhausted. So I made the decision around 4 weeks to pump and have our baby nurse Rita, give her a bottle for her middle of the night feeding. My goal was to only give her a bottle at that feeding, and be there to offer her the boob at all other times, but there were days when she would just flat out refuse the boob and in order to make sure she was getting enough we would top her off with a bottle. For whatever reason this would really bug me, and I would find myself crying every time I had to do this. I think I went into this whole breastfeeding thing with the mindset of all or failure. Either she takes the boob, or I’m failing, when in reality the most important thing is that she is well-fed. Now we have the best of both worlds. She likes my boobs sometimes, and absolutely loves her bottle. She is getting my breast milk with both which is the key. I’ve also heard stories of babies refusing the bottle completely. So if you know you will have to have someone feed them with a bottle down the line, I would definitely introduce the bottle after a good latch/ solid couple weeks of breastfeeding has been established. Just make sure you keep the nipple on the newborn size, so she still has to work for the milk. Even at 6 months I haven’t switched up her nipple, and I don’t plan to.
Did you need to limit or avoid certain foods for Everly to feel better?
In the beginning, yes! It was so hard since I am mainly plant based. One thing I wouldn’t give up was coffee, because I needed to feel alive. But the usual culprits I stayed far away from. Broccoli, cabbage, dairy (DUH), kale, lentils, beans, etc etc. I think regardless babies are going to be gassy the first couple of months. They don’t have a fully developed digestive system, so the trick is the slowly bring those items of food in. Now at 6 months I feel like I can eat whatever, and she is totally fine. Don’t drive yourself to crazy with this, you still need to nourish your body with foods that make you feel alive.
Final thing I want say is it’s okay to ask for help! Connect with other nursing moms, Ask them about their experience. Whenever I know someone has or is nursing I ask them a million questions, and try to pull as much helpful information as I can from those conversations. I also found Instagram to be so helpful during my journey. Being able share my struggles and know that I am not alone was huge. Being a mom is such an insane roller coaster ride, and trying to master something as challenging as breastfeeding can really take a toll on a us. Just do the best you can, and know that whatever you do is amazing. What works for one mom, may not work for you. No comparing allowed!!! Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and do what works best for you and your family. Always remember #fedisbest.
