Baby Motherhood

BREASTFEEDING (is hard AF)

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, even before I got pregnant. I thought I was going to be this super chic mom, who would be able to whip out her tit out at brunch and have Everly latch on and go on with whatever conversation I was in the middle of. NEWS FLASH, it doesn’t work out like that. Nothing can prepare you for all the challenges that nursing can bring. Breastfeeding is hard. Like really fucking hard. Your nipples hurt, your boobs get engorged, you’re wondering if your baby is getting enough milk- which is a total mind fuck. Your baby doesn’t want the boob, you’re waking up in the middle of the night to pump, your milk supply drops, and your schedule literally revolves around when your baby needs the boob. Our bodies also hangs on to the last 10 pounds of weight, so that’s fun. It’s a full time job, but I do have to say that when all the stars align and it works, it is oh so very magical. I love my special time with Everly for her first feeding. It’s the only feeding that is easy for us, and I look forward to it every morning. The health benefits can’t be beat, which is why I’ve fought so hard to make this work. I’ve passed the 6-month mark, and I am so beyond proud of myself. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Normally when the going gets rough I throw in the towel ( the worst trait ever- I’m working on it), but I’ve held on and will continue to for HOPEFULLY 1 year. If i’ve learned anything from new mom life, it’s that things can’t be planned. So I am taking it day by day, month by month, with the very hopeful goal of 1 year. Below, I wanted to share some little tidbits of advice that I wish I would have known ahead of time. Every experience is so different, but I hope that if you are a soon to be mama, or in the thick of it you will find this helpful.

Did you hire a lactation consultant?

Yes! And I would totally recommend to anyone that they hire a Lactation consultant as soon as they get home. They know the ins and outs of breastfeeding. Everly was born on a holiday weekend, so we weren’t able to meet with someone at the hospital, but I would have still wanted someone for as soon as we got home. Real life kicks in when you leave the hospital, and you want someone there who can really help guide you in the right direction. I think having that kind of support from the very beginning sets you up for success. Also, you will then have access to them via text message for any other issues that may arise.

How did you deal with the pain in the very beginning?
Ugh, I remember that all too well. Freeing the nipples really helped me with nipple pain. If you have cracks or you’re bleeding, let them get air! I would just walk around the house topless as much as I could and I swear it made all the difference. I also loved THESE nipple shields. Whenever I HAD to wear a bra, I would put these on underneath with a little breast milk on the nipple and it would help them heal faster. You just have to push through the pain. Especially in the beginning. It hurts, like A LOT, but I promise this hurdle goes by quickly. I would say after 2 weeks my nipples didn’t hurt at all anymore. My boobs were still getting engorged, but you kind of just learn to live with it. I PROMISE, YOU WILL HIT A POINT WHERE THIS PART IS JUST A DISTANT MEMORY.

Anything you wish you would have done differently?

YES!! I wish I would have continued to pump early on. I had an oversupply in the beginning, so in order to normalize I stopped pumping. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I wish I would have built up a huge freezer supply, it would have made my life so much easier in the long run. BUT we live and we learn, right? *With that being said. Just remember that if you and your baby are around someone who is sick, you body will create antibodies that will be passed on through your breast milk to your baby – helping them to not get sick. Also, our breast milk changes as our babies grow to accommodate them,so if you can, mix up their frozen milk with current milk.

Are you pumping and breastfeeding? How many times a day do you pump?

Yes! I am. Everly sometimes prefers the bottle, but I always offer her the boob first for her daytime feedings. Her first feeding is strictly boob. I wake up engorged, so I think she enjoys how fast the milk is coming out. Her two afternoon feedings are always a challenge. Most of the time she takes the boob and then I top her off with 2 ounces in a bottle. For her last feeding she strictly gets 6 ounces in a bottle. She was always so fussy at nighttime, and once we started sleep training her I wanted to know 1000% that she was getting enough.

In terms of pumping, I pump after every feeding and sometimes in the middle of the night. It’s obviously annoying to have to pump so much, but having piece of mind that there is enough milk in the fridge makes it all worth it. My biggest piece of advice for the first couple of months is to PUMP, PUMP, PUMP. Build a freezer supply. Have it as a back up. I ended up hurting my neck really badly, and was on major pain meds and having that freezer supply saved me. Plus, I would rather have more milk than she needs, then just enough. Keeps my sanity!

OUR FEEDING SCHEDULE
7am Boob and pump
11am boob and pump
3pm boob and pump
6pm bottle
7/8 pump
1230am *sometimes pump

How many times a day do you breastfeed?

When Everly was just born it was every 3 hours-  counting down from when I started feeding her. So if I fed her at 12pm, she would eat again at 3pm. Once she gained her hospital weight back I preferred to have a set time, give or take 30 mins when I would feed her. It gave me the ability to plan around her feeding, and give myself time to do things I needed to do aka work out. On average, it would be 4 hours between each feeding. All babies vary and this is what worked best for us. I also kept a notebook of how long she was on each boob, and what boob she started on, so I would know for the next feeding. Now that she is a big girl, I have her on a strict schedule for her feedings and her naps. She now gets breast milk 4x a day and solid foods 3x a day.

What is the most difficult part about breastfeeding?

The struggle is forever changing. Once I feel like I get through one hurdle, another one presents itself. The most difficult part in the beginning was trying to guess how much she was getting. The sore nipples, and the engorgement I could handle. But the anxiety of wondering if she was drinking enough milk was definitely the hardest part. I had to surrender and realize that I can’t control everything. As long as she is gaining weight, and making enough pees and poops she is totally fine. Now at the 6 months old I find the hardest parts to be keeping up with the pumping, and having her want to breastfeed. The two afternoon feedings are challenging, but some days she makes it easy for me and I love her for that. Contrary to how natural breastfeeding may seem, it is challenging all around. Some days are easier than others, but I think the most important thing to do is just stick with it! But at the same time if it’s not working for you, then go to plan B. The best baby is a fed baby….that’s all that really matters!

What pump do you use?

I have the Spectra S2, which I got through insurance.  I am also renting the hospital grade Medela Symphony for $80 a month from our local pharmacy. Because I am pumping so much, I feel like the Medela is a little less harsh on my nipples. Besides that, I feel like I get the same amount of milk from both of them. I would totally recommend either one of these!

My boobs never seem to empty regardless of how much I feed her or pump..

That sounds a lot how I was during the first weeks of breastfeeding. No matter how much I fed her or pumped, within the hour I felt like I was full again. I ended up slowly dropping the pumping sessions and that helped normalize my supply. If I had a time machine to go back, I would have continued to pump and build up a freezer supply. BF is supply and demand, and eventually I would imagine it has to normalize.

Advice for when milk production has slowed down?

This is what I was/am dealing with. It got so bad that I bought some formula to have as a back up because I didn’t think I would be able to get it back up again. Legendairy Milk makes amazing products. I got the pump princess and the liquid gold. I would try one at a time and see what works for you. If your baby likes nursing, then offer them the boob as much as possible. That is the best thing you could do. If they prefer the bottle then PUMP, PUMP, PUMP! I now pump as soon as she is done nursing. I also started waking up in the middle of the night to pump for like 5-7 mins, and that really helped. I don’t do it every night because I want a solid nights sleep. But getting those extra 3-4 ounces a couple times a week makes a huge difference for me. Hydrate like a crazy woman. I also eat oatmeal for a snack, and will sip on mother milks tea. Not sure if those help, but I enjoy them so it works for me. In reality, at a certain point our supply is going to normalize and only produce what the baby needs.

How did you prevent Mastitis?

I was very lucky and never had to deal with full-blown Mastitis. I had a small scare about 3 weeks after Everly was born. It was a clogged duct, which if not taken care of could have led to Mastitis. I got a high fever, and felt like I was hit by a truck. I took hospital strength ibuprofen, put hot compresses on my boobs, continued to nurse and pump, and slept as much as I could. By the next morning I felt like a new person. You have to be very consistent and not miss a feeding. If you can’t offer your boob, or they don’t want it, then you must pump. When you’re showering, stand under the warm water and massage your boobs. Feel around for the clogged ducts, and help massage them out. Put a hot compress on your boobs before feeding or pumping, it will help the milk come out faster. Just be careful with too much heat, as that can make you produce more milk. There’s such a fine line with all of this stuff, listen to your body and see what makes those boobies feel better! Hydrate, sleep, and take care of yourself! All of these things seemed to work for me!

Did you incorporate pumping/bottle feeding early on so you didn’t have to do all the feeds yourself?

Yes, I did! I was so nervous about giving her a bottle because of nipple confusion/ the pressures of exclusively breastfeeding- which btw I only put on myself. But I also love my sleep, and felt I would be a better mom to Everly if I was rested and not so exhausted. So I made the decision around 4 weeks to pump and have our baby nurse Rita, give her a bottle for her middle of the night feeding. My goal was to only give her a bottle at that feeding, and be there to offer her the boob at all other times, but there were days when she would just flat out refuse the boob and in order to make sure she was getting enough we would top her off with a bottle. For whatever reason this would really bug me, and I would find myself crying every time I had to do this. I think I went into this whole breastfeeding thing with the mindset of all or failure. Either she takes the boob, or I’m failing, when in reality the most important thing is that she is well-fed. Now we have the best of both worlds. She likes my boobs sometimes, and absolutely loves her bottle. She is getting my breast milk with both which is the key. I’ve also heard stories of babies refusing the bottle completely. So if you know you will have to have someone feed them with a bottle down the line, I would definitely introduce the bottle after a good latch/ solid couple weeks of breastfeeding has been established. Just make sure you keep the nipple on the newborn size, so she still has to work for the milk. Even at 6 months I haven’t switched up her nipple, and I don’t plan to.

Did you need to limit or avoid certain foods for Everly to feel better?

In the beginning, yes! It was so hard since I am mainly plant based. One thing I wouldn’t give up was coffee, because I needed to feel alive. But the usual culprits I stayed far away from. Broccoli, cabbage, dairy (DUH), kale, lentils, beans, etc etc. I think regardless babies are going to be gassy the first couple of months. They don’t have a fully developed digestive system, so the trick is the slowly bring those items of food in. Now at 6 months I feel like I can eat whatever, and she is totally fine. Don’t drive yourself to crazy with this, you still need to nourish your body with foods that make you feel alive.

Final thing I want say is it’s okay to ask for help! Connect with other nursing moms, Ask them about their experience. Whenever I know someone has or is nursing I ask them a million questions, and try to pull as much helpful information as I can from those conversations. I also found Instagram to be so helpful during my journey. Being able share my struggles and know that I am not alone was huge. Being a mom is such an insane roller coaster ride, and trying to master something as challenging as breastfeeding can really take a toll on a us. Just  do the best you can, and know that whatever you do is amazing. What works for one mom, may not work for you. No comparing allowed!!! Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and do what works best for you and your family. Always remember #fedisbest.

 

 

Baby

Everly’s favorite toys


Headband: Lele Sadoughi / Sweater: & Other Stories / Denim: AGOLDE

I was at such a loss when it came to what toys to buy Everly. I originally wanted her aesthetic to be white and soft colors, but I quickly learned that babies don’t care about their aesthetic, only their crazy ass control freak mothers do. They want bright and colorful toys to capture their attention. I do however plan on keeping her aesthetic very much alive in her closet- she will thank me later. ANYWAYS, I put together a list of some of her favorite toys below.

Tiny Love Stroller Arch • I hook this on to her stroller when we are going out to eat. Doesn’t require bringing a bag of toys, and it seems to keep her occupied for while.

Skip Hop Bandana Buddies Unicorn Stroller Toy • We are VERY into unicorns, and this one has a great ring at the bottom of it that she loves to grab onto.

Infantino Hug and Tug Musical Bug Toy • We have the giraffe version of this toy. She loves anything that she grab onto and pull. This toy plays music when the rings are pulled down, which makes her even more excited.

Sophie la Girafe Teether • She looovesss to make out with Sophie. Just be careful as I have seen articles of this developing black mold on the inside from water getting into it.

Fisher-Price Deluxe Kick & Play Piano Gym • Great for tummy time. Anything with lights is a winner in Everly’s eyes.

Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother • It’s like a tv for infants. Plus, the white noise option always puts her to sleep.

Jellycat ‘Bashful Bunny’ Grabber Rattle • She also loves making out with this. Different texture than Sophie, plus it has very cute floppy ears.

Skip Hop® Silver Lining Cloud Jitter Stroller Baby Toy • She LOVES the handle on this. This was one her favorites early on. I attach it to her fisher price bouncer and she holds onto the clouds handle for so long.

Jellycat Sea Tails Book • Jellycat Jungly Tails Fabric Book • Jellycat Unicorn Tails Book • WE love these books. So many different textures and colors, she goes BANANAS for these.

Tiny Love Tiny Princess Soothe n’ Groove Mobile • Life changing. SHE IS OBSESSED. Plus, it allows parents to turn it on and go make that morning cup of coffee they so desperately want.

SmartNoggin Nogginstik Developmental Light-Up Rattle • LIGHTS LIGHTS LIGHTS. She LOVES this. Another toy she loves to make out with.

Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes • We refer to this toy as “baby crack” in our household. “Hey babe, did you grab the baby crack?” Someone got this for us as a gift after we had a horrible experience in the car with Everly. It is a toy I NEVER leave home without.

Fisher-Price Baby Bouncer • I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. This was probably one of our best, if not our best purchase. Because of the toy bar, you can also attach other toys to it. Keeps her super busy!

Baby Motherhood

Baby Must Haves

I was the new mom who totally over registered. I ended up returning 50% of the stuff I registered for because I didn’t know any better.  All of the items listed below are things that I use almost daily, or used daily when she was just a wee little baby. Hopefully this helps new mamas!! Feel free to reach out to me on instagram with any questions. CONGRATS!!!

*all pink words are clickable

Nest Camera – If you are a psycho like me you, you will want to spy on your baby when you aren’t home. We have one in the nursery, and one in the living room. Plus, we’ve had some funny moments captured with this camera and you can save it to your phone.

Nanit– This is the baby monitor we use and we love it.  It connects to your cell phone so you can spy on them sleeping wherever you might be. It also alerts you if they wake up and gives you insight into how well they slept.

Bugaboo Fox– This is our everyday city stroller. We love it. Super chic looking.

Stroller Organizer – Holds your phone, water, small toys, etc.

Doona Car Seat/Stroller– The PERFECT travel stroller, and car seat if you are a city family. Literally turns from carseat to stroller with the press of a button. SO easy, SO convenient.

Diapers– Diaper brand we use. On the more natural side, but also easy enough to get in a pinch. *don’t buy newborn size.  Just buy size 1- and don’t go crazy.

Wipes– For the first 2 months of her life, we only cleaned her with warm water and cotton balls. But once she was ready for wipes these are the ones we got.

OXO wipe dispenser– Top opens with a single push which makes diaper changes easier than having to open up the wipe package.

Ubbi diaper pail– Keeps the dirty diaper stink contained. Don’t forget the bags too.

Hatch Baby changing pad and scale– If you plan on breastfeeding, this is a saving grace. Allows you to weigh them at home, so you know that they are getting enough to eat. Esp good in the beginning when you are trying to get them to gain their birth weight back.

Diaper Ointment– This is our everyday diaper cream.  We put coat this all over after every diaper change.

Diaper Cream – Now that she is sleeping through the night we coat this all over her tushy before bed. We also use it if she looks irritated at all.

Body lotion– This is our favorite, and it smells like heaven.

Body wash– This is also our favorite. Smells great.

Primo Bathtub– We give Everly a bath on our kitchen counter in this.  I find it to be way easier then putting her in a baby tub, in an adult tub.  We also use tthis bath sponge since the tub is so big.

Nose Frida– Helps get the boogies out.

Saline spray– Helps soften the boogies so they will come out easier.

Windi gaspasser– If your baby hasn’t pooped in a couple days, or is beyond fussy this might just save you! Just don’t over use it.

White noise sound machine –  Helps mask noises so you don’t wake up your sleeping baby.  BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST SUCK.

DocATot– Everly slept in this until she was 3 months old.  Imagine coming out of the womb and being put into a giant crib.  This helps with making them feel snuggly AF.

Baby Bouncer– Ugly AF, but if i’ve learned anything as a new mom it’s that the ugliest items are always the best.  This chair is one of them.  Everly LOVES IT.  She plays in it still to this day, and she takes her 5pm cat nap in it as well. We literally bought one in when we went to visit Chicago because we couldn’t live without it.

Tiny Love Mobile– Another UGLY fav.  Everly goes BANANAS for this thing.  You can legit put your baby in their crib and they will be mesmerized by it.  A MUST!

Playmat– This is the one we have. SO ugly, and I would have never thought to get it. But she loves the bright colors! The uglier the better- I swear!!!! Plus, it’s a good size for when she gets bigger.  I made the mistake and registered for one that she already outgrew.

Boppy newborn lounger– Everly aged out of this at around 2 months, but perfect for newborns if they are awake, but you can’t hold them for whatever reason. Also great for reading them their nighttime stories!

My Breast Friend nursing pillow– Makes breastfeeding so much easier.  I still use it 4 months in and will probably use it my whole nursing journey.

Avent bottle warmer– Makes heating up a bottle so easy. Fill with water, turn it on, put the bottle in, and wait for the bottle to warm up.

Avent steam sterilizer– You have to sterilize all bottles before you can use them, and you should also sterilizer them on the REG.  Microwaves are gross, this is way better.

OXO bottle brush– Makes cleaning the bottles easy.

OXO bottle drying rack– Bottles have to air dry after being washed.

Dr. Browns Bottles– These are the bottles that we use.  I haven’t used any other brand so I don’t have anything to compare them to, but we like them! I would say 8-12 or more if you are giving the bottle exclusively. Remember the bottle has to be washed and fully dried before you use it again.

Baby food maker– We haven’t used this yet, but I plan on making all of Everly’s food- and people rave about this.

Pacifier – Everly’s favorite. Some babies need to suck, others don’t.  I was so weird about giving her one for whatever bizarre reason, but she loves it and that’s all the matters.

Cotton Onsies– I wanted to be the mom that put Everly in cute clothes all day long- but she basically lived in onesies the first couple of months of life. I wouldn’t even get newborn sizes. 0-3 & 3-6.  You wash them so much that shrink so quickly.  She is 4 months and is wearing 6-9 right now. I would get minimum 10 pieces.

Merlin’s Sleep suit– Everly hated being swaddled, so we switched to this around 2 months.  All babies are different- but if your baby doesn’t like being swaddled def check this out.

Swaddle Blanket– if you plan on swaddling – like legit swaddling these are the best blankets to do so.  We never used a velcro self swaddle blanket.

Muslin Blankets– I would say get about 6 of these.  Not for swaddling, but great for stroller rides, or just as a blanket.

Baby carrier– This is the style we have. Also converts to front facing for when they are little older.

Winter stroller accessories- stroller gloves , stroller winter blanket

OTHER ITEMS

towels – we got a lot of personalized ones for gifts.
wash cloths
baby laundry detergent we like this
baby oxiclean spray and powder 
books, books, and more books
burp cloths- Under the nile is our fav.
crib sheets
changing pad covers
disposable changing pad covers

 

Motherhood

My Birth Story

Since I was so open about my pregnancy on Instagram, I figured it would only be to fair to share my birth story. I am by no means sharing this to scare anyone or discourage anyone from wanting to go natural. Every woman is so different, and every experience is SO different. Please, if you haven’t given birth yet remember that!! My labor and delivery was HARD AF, but once Everly arrived safe and sound the hell I went through didn’t even matter.

I did anything and everything you could possibly do to prepare for a natural birth. I choose midwives as my health care provider, I hired a doula, I practiced hypnobirthing, I took hypnobirthing classes, I did acupuncture, I worked out (almost) everyday, I ate 6 dates and drank 4 cups of raspberry leaf tea daily. You see, giving birth never scared me. I grew up with my mom constantly telling me how easy childbirth was for her. 4 hours of labor, a couple pushes and I was out. They say you have a similar experience like your mother, for me that couldn’t have been further for the truth.

My due date was July 9th, but I always knew I was going to go early. On the morning of Tuesday the 3rd I woke up and felt different. I was super crampy, lost my mucus plug and knew that something was going to happen soonish. Naturally, I scheduled a blow dry and manicure so when the time came I was ready -DUHHH. Tuesday night comes and goes and nothing happens. Wednesday morning I woke up and felt totally normal. I was super bummed because I was just ready to meet my baby and not be pregnant anymore. The end of pregnancy sucks, plus being a first time mom and not knowing what real labor feels like is just confusing. Thursday at 5:40am I was woken up by what I now know was early labor. Strong contractions, but with no particular pattern. They would last for an hour, then stop, then come back again. I took the day to relax in bed and fuel my body as much as I could. Early evening rolls around and they start forming a regular pattern and are becoming increasingly stronger. I stay in contact with my doula/midwife and the plan is to relax as much as possible. You see, in order to give birth in the birthing center you need to be 6 cm dilated for them to admit you. So my mindset this entire time is to stay home for AS LONG as possible. The last thing I want is to go to the hospital and be sent home. Early evening turns into night and now I am starting to get REALLY uncomfortable. At 11:30pm we call my midwife and she tells me to call her again once the contractions are 3 mins apart for a full hour. We start timing the contractions and sure enough they are exactly that. She encourages us to call our doula and have her come over as soon as possible.

Amethyst, my doula gets to us by 1:45am. I am in pain. The contractions are nonstop and so strong at this point (2-3mins apart). The only thing that is helping me through each contraction is me leaning over the kitchen counter and Jim squeezing my lower back/hip area as hard as he can. This continues on for about 3+ hours. I am exhausted and doing anything/everything to speed up the process. Walking up stairs, squatting, nipple stimulation, squatting while stimulating my nipples. The whole time all I remember saying is how much I just wanted to go to sleep. I couldn’t fully lay down because the contractions were too strong, but I was able to sit on my couch and half fall asleep in between my contractions. 5am rolls around and the contractions start slowing down which was frustrating because there was no end in sight. At 6am I was over it and said I wanted to go to the hospital and just see where I was. If I was far along I knew I would be able to finish this out. BUT if I wasn’t I didn’t think I could physically endure it anymore. We grab our bags, call an uber (we get a female driver who is a mother herself, and she was so positive and helpful and I just loved that she drove us to the hospital) and headed to the hospital.

My midwife is at the hospital and she takes me back into a room (without Jim) to do an internal exam. WHY DOES NO ONE TELL YOU ABOUT THIS PART?!? This was literally the most horrifying experience. She basically shoved what felt like her whole hand up my vagina and I screamed bloody murder. It was so painful for me she had to do it a couple times because I was tensing up so badly. Once she is able to get a good read, she looks at me and tells me I am not even 1 cm dilated. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!!? I was scream crying at this point. I just labored for 24 hours and I am not even 1 cm!?!?!? She brings Jim back and we talk about our options. I could either go back home and labor some more, or I could get an epidural and be induced to help speed up the process since my cervix just wasn’t opening. This wasn’t an easy decision for me, but after 45 mins of going back and fourth I opted for the epidural. Part of the hypnobirthing practice is to accept anything and everything that may happen during the birthing process- and that’s what I did.

They brought me back to the delivery room and gave me an IV for an hour before giving me the epidural. I ended up having to get the epidural twice because they put it in the wrong place the first time. The epidural was nothing. I was always so afraid of it, but you don’t even see the needle. You just feel some pressure and that’s all. After about 25 mins the pain from the contractions started to go away. I always thought that an epidural made you completely numb at the bottom, but that’s not the case. You can still feel pressure, but you don’t feel pain- if that makes sense at all? My midwife then proceeded to do another internal exam, and because the epidural relaxed me I was already at 3 cm. 1 hour goes by and she checks me again and I am 4 cm, moving along-but too slowly. She then decides she is going to give me a small amount of pitocin to speed up the process. They administer that, and thankfully because of the epidural I don’t feel the effects of the pitocin at all. Over the next couple of hours I nap, watch The Office, and try and get some calories into me (organic gatorade and ice chips- which btw tasted like actual heaven because hospital ice chips are da best, and some bone broth.)

*I am not going to spare any deets moving forward*

4:30pm rolls around and all of a sudden I’m like babe, can you please get our midwife I feel like I am going to shit my pants. Everyone tells you that this is the feeling you are going to have before the baby comes, but I guess you just don’t believe anyone because why if a baby is coming out of your vagina is it going to make you feel like you want to poop? SO at this point I’m really believing that I just have to go to the bathroom. After what seems like forever our Midwife FINALLY comes and does an internal exam and BOOM I am ready to go!!!! It takes a while for them to set everything up, and this whole time I am just so excited/nervous because I know that I am about to meet my DAUGHTER! I can’t even describe the feeling, it just so insane knowing that your life is about to change.

Now let’s talk pushing, shall we? This was hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Some women LOVE pushing, it actually feels good to them. I HATED IT. With an epidural you can still feel pressure, and BOY OH BOY do you feel pressure. Jim had one leg, the nurse had the other, the midwife is down below, and my doula is cheering me on. They basically make you take one big breath in, and 3 breaths out through your nose while pulling your legs back. Also, what is a vagina? You forget you even have one during the process because it just feels like you are trying to take the biggest shit of your entire life. I kept asking if I was pooping because I just didn’t understand how poop wouldn’t be coming out when that’s what it felt like. SPOILER ALERT I did in fact NOT poop. SEX LIFE SAVED. I ended up pushing for about 1 hour and 20 mins and on July 6th at 6:48pm Everly is born!! The second she came out of me it was the biggest relief ever. I was just so excited for it to be over and to finally meet her! Seeing my daughter for the first time was surreal. You are just meeting this little person but it feels like you have known them forever. All of the pain and frustration from the last 36 hours of pure hell melt away and you are filled with love.The next couple of hours are a blur. It’s a lot of Everly laying on my chest doing skin to skin, and me staring at her telling her how much I love her.

Childbirth is no joke. It was an experience that has forever changed me. I’ve always loved my body, but now I love it even more. What it goes through for 9 months is crazy enough, but what it goes through at the end to bring the baby in to this world in insane. My advice for new mamas to be would be to stay positive with your thoughts surrounding labor and delivery. There is no reason to fear it. We should consider ourselves lucky to be able to experience something like this, as so many women aren’t as fortunate. Even though I didn’t get the birth story I had in mind-I will forever cherish the experience. I mean I created and birthed a human, how fucking cool is that?

Fashion

Maternity style

Now that I am in the final stretch of this pregnancy, I am finally starting to get the hang of maternity fashion. I’ve learned through trial and error what I hate (maternity jeans) and what I love (overalls). If you followed me before this pregnancy you know that I am a girl who loves her crop tops and high waisted jeans. Unfortunately for me, a pregnant lady can’t really pull that off so I had to find new pieces that made me feel like myself. I don’t know what it is, but spending money on actual maternity clothes just didn’t do it for me. I really tried to buy things that I could wear afterwards or else if just felt like a waste of money to me. Hands down my favorite piece of maternity clothing that I bought were my ASOS overalls ($67). I first bought them in black, and recently just got purchased them in white to help me finish off this pregnancy. If I had to recommend ANY piece of maternity clothing to a newly pregnant lady- it would be overalls. I feel like a psycho with how much I preach about it- but being a girl who loves her high waisted jeans, overalls were a life saver. Now that NYC is finally getting spring weather I am starting to rock cute little stretchy dresses, ones that I had pre-pregnancy and ones that I bought knowing that I could wear them afterwards. I put together a little booklet of pieces i’ve actually worn and pieces that would work- hope it helps a soon to be new mama out!

p.s Hunza G swimsuits are ONE SIZE FITS ALL aka the perfect suit for before and after pregnancy.

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Beauty Health and Fitness

Pregnancy Q&A’S

When are you due?
Our BABY GIRL is due early July!!!!!!

When did you know you wanted to start trying?
I would have started the night of the wedding (end of March), BUT I wanted to be able to go on my honeymoon in Bora Bora and fully enjoy it (end of August). Plus, that allowed to me have one last summer to be totally selfish.

How long did it take you, once you started trying?
We were VERY lucky, it only took us 3-4 months. I basically fake tried in July. I was getting anxious to start and thought I was ovulating because my phone app told me I was. So I was like let’s just do it and see what happens. That month I was the most psycho EVER about taking pregnancy tests. So I count that month, just because I had to go through the mind fuck of it all. We tried August, September, and it finally stuck in October.

Did you use any apps?
I used Ovia, and Period Tracker. Start tracking your period asap. It helps you grasp how long your cycle actually is.

Any tips or tricks that you believed helped you conceive?

1. I hadn’t been on birth control for over 6 years. It made me crazy, plus I truly believe that your body should get it’s period when it wants to, not when fake hormones are telling it to.

2. I’ve always been a fan of acupuncture, even before I started trying I was getting it done monthly. The month I ended up getting pregnant, I was getting it done every week in line with where my cycle was.  If you need a recommendation in NYC – message me!

3. Whenever I was at home relaxing I would keep a heating pad on my stomach. I probably did this for a solid year. My Chinese medicine doctor told me my lower body was cold, and it would be hard to conceive so to start this as soon as possible. Who knew if it really helped, but I still do it to this day.

4. I used ovulation kits ( Clearblue and First Response), and kept track of everything on apps (Period Tracker and Ovia)

5. As silly as it sounds, I also just tried to visualize myself pregnant. The power of the mind is something so magical. It’s really hard to not get down about not getting pregnant when it’s all you want. But it’s best to remain positive (as much as you can) and know that the baby you are meant to have will come at the time when it’s suppose to come.

When did you find out you were pregnant?
Before work, at 5 am on October 30th!

How did you tell Jim you were pregnant?
The night before I found out, I knew I was going to wake up and take a pregnancy test. I told myself that if it came back positive I was going to wait until Jim got home from work to surprise him. Well I peed on the stick, 2 lines showed up and there was no way I was going to wait over 12 hours to tell my husband. I literally ran into our bedroom, woke Jim up and started hysterically crying while showing him the stick. It was such an amazing, surreal moment that I will never forget.

What do you do for your workout?
Tracy Anderson 6-7x a week. Her method is genius, and she has programs specially designed for expecting Mamas. I’ve also seen first hand how quickly women bounce back after having their baby when doing her method throughout their pregnancy. I did cut back drastically during my first trimester, I wanted to play it safe (if you speak TA I did custom for my first trimester and no cardio.) But when I was safely in my second trimester I  amped it up and started taking Attain again and adding in 30 mins of cards when I feel like I want that extra boost. (I also have a fan on my at all times, and make sure to modify and take breaks as much as I need to.)

Have you had any morning sickness?
SOOOOO during my first trimester I had NONE! I was so beyond lucky. Early in my second trimester I got sick a hand full of times, nothing too crazy, but it sucks regardless.

Any weird cravings?
Fermented sauerkraut. IDK. I’m WEIRD.

What is your diet like now that you’re pregnant?
Same as before. Mainly plant based. I really try to eat as healthy as possible. No dairy. But if I see something that looks good, I am going to eat it, all in moderation. I always start my day off with a green juice followed by fruit. I ended up getting a juicer so I have more control over cleaning my veggies. I have avocado toast on sourdough bread everyday for brunch. I was doing Sakara for dinner, but it ended up being way too much on my stomach and I had to cancel. I added some fermented foods (SEE ABOVE) into my diet, I read that it helps improve mine and my babies immune system. I also read that your babies taste buds are being developed in the womb.  So trying to keep that in mind with what I’m eating.

What as been the worst part about being pregnant?
The mind fuck of the first trimester. Being that it’s my first pregnancy I just had no idea how scary it is. There are so many things that can go wrong, and I was beyond anxious to get all the crazy tests out of the way. Once everything was cleared, I felt a millions times better and was finally able to fully enjoy the excitement of it all.  The exhaustion is tough to deal with, somedays I just don’t have it in me to  do anything else besides workout and lay on my couch. Also, my boobs. I miss my small nonexistent boobs. They were beautiful and didn’t require a bra. Now my boobs are massive and in the way.

What has been the best part about being pregnant?
The best part is knowing that in a couple of months I am going to have a baby that is part me.  I can’t wait to be able to teach her how to be kind, and love animals, and to stand up for herself. I mean there’s literally a human growing in my belly that is going to be my bestie.  I’m not going to lie, the first couple of weeks I gained 10 pounds and I was having a hard time adjusting to the changes in my body. But now that I’m starting to actually look pregnant, I love it.

Any name ideas?
TOP SECRET. I had a secret girl name that I have loved forever, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go with it. The second I found out we were having a girl I knew that there was no way I wasn’t going to name her that.

Birth Plan?
I’ve decided to go with a midwife and HOPEFULLY give birth in a birthing center. I recently hired a doula, her name is Amethyst and I LOVE HER. The plan is to labor at home for as long as possible with my Doula, and then head to the hospital. I am trying to keep an open mind about everything because it doesn’t always go as planned. The goal is to go as natural as possible, but if complications arise my number 1 priority is whatever is safest for me and my baby. I’m reading up on Hypno-birthing. It’s basically a method of giving birth, and I’m into it.

Do you plan on breastfeeding?
That’s the plan. I will do everything in my power to make it work. Again, not everything will go as planned but I am hopefully optimistic that it will work.

Any books you would recommend?
The Vaccine Friendly Plan! – READ IT!!! It is not pro or anti vaxx- but it really helps educate you on what is really in all the vaccines, which ones are absolutely necessary, and which ones you can do with out.

Fashion wise- what has been your go to stores?
Ugh. This part is hard. I seriously miss my crop tops and high waisted jeans. I feel like in the warmer months it will be way easier. But being like 50% preggers in the winter is tough. I’m too big for normal clothes and too small for maternity clothes. Zara has been a life saver. That’s honestly my go to. Once I am bigger I am going to get some key pieces for Hatch. Shopbop has good options as well.

Any last advice?
My biggest piece of advice that I would share with any woman knowing that they want to get pregnant soon, is to start sooner than you think. It can take you 1 month, or it can take you 18 months. You really just don’t know. But waiting because you want a Spring or Summer baby is just silly. Life doesn’t / can’t always go as planned, and I learned that through this process. Also, stay away from google. It can make you crazy!!!

Health and Fitness

4 bad lifestyle choices to STOP RIGHT NOW

Photo by Jana Williams

Swimsuit: Top & Bottoms

I constantly get asked about my “diet” and fitness routine.  The only fitness tip I can offer is to do Tracy Anderson, and the only diet tip I can offer is to NOT diet. I am all about living a healthy lifestyle and treating my body with the utmost respect and love.  Here are four small things you can change to live a healthier life!

1. STOP SMOKING CIGS. Honestly, this should go without saying, but apparently people still do this.  You know it kills you, it smells awful, and quite frankly it’s not a good look. THE ONLY and I mean ONLY acceptable time to smoke a cigarette is at a super chic cafe in Paris.  Besides that, you are basically saying F*** YOU to your lovely body.

2. STOP DRINKING COKE, DIET COKE, REDBULL, ETC.  Again, it completely blows my mind that people still drink this shit. Anything with aspartame is a big NO NO. This additive (also disguised as Nurta Sweet & Equal) causes everything ranging from headaches, chronic fatigue and depression to cancer and seizures. Plus it makes you FAT. I even stopped chewing gum and switched to mints when I saw that there was aspartame in gum. INSTEAD, drink some iced coffee, a matcha latte, or grab a green juice. It’s all about changing habits people.

3. STOP DRINKING MILK. Do you know that we are the only species on Earth that drinks the milk of another species. We are also the only species of mammals that drinks milk after infancy. Cows milk is designed to turn a calve into a full grown cow in the shortest period of time. Not to mention it’s filled with hormones.  Use almond milk, coconut milk, hemp milk ANYTHING ELSE.  The thought of someone drinking a full glass of milk right now makes me want to VOM (it).

4. STOP USING THE MICROWAVE.   I saw a study where PLANT 1 was being watered with filtered water, PLANT 2 was being watered with microwaved water. Can you guess which one died??!?! DING DING DING, PLANT 2. To dumb it down- it’s basically killing all of the nutrients in your food. The second I moved into my apartment, I took the microwave off the wall and tossed it out the window. (JK it’s in our storage unit) BUT YOU GET THE POINT.  Stop being lazy and heat your food up on the stove or in the oven. I hate cleaning things too but your body will thank you for it later.

Fashion

SHOPBOP SALE

I love a good sale, especially a shopbop one. Get 20% off of orders under $500 and 25% off of orders over $500 using code “EVENT17”. Here are some of my picks!!

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Fashion

Layering with Velvet

Photos by Lisa Richov

Sunglasses: Celine / Jacket: Theory / Turtleneck: Reformation / Dress: Reformation /        Boots: Stuart Weitzman / Bag Strap: Maison De Coco

Let’s talk about trends, shall we? People always seem to have opinions about this topic, negative and positive.  Some people LIVE to be trendy (hi, me, I do) while others despise it and want to be there own person.  I respect the decision of both sides. I think at the end of the day you need to dress for you and ONLY you. You need to wear something that makes you feel confident and excited to get dressed. If you are into a trend, wear it, if you aren’t then don’t.  It’s pretty simple, getting dressed should be selfish.  Think about you and only you and you will prevail. Because let’s be honest, there’s nothing more stylish then being confident with who you are. ( sounds so cheesy but it’s so fucking true.)

Speaking of Trends, hello velvet.  Unless you have been living under a rock, it is no secret that velvet has stolen the show this season.  It is everywhere and I am not mad about it.  Velvet to me has always felt like it needed to be worn during the holidays, but now it’s become such a transitional fabric, I can’t wait to wear it into spring. I’m also super into this layering trend. Normally, I would have never bought a velvet mini dress in the dead of winter, but being able to pair it with a turtle neck was a game changer.  For this look I styled it with boots and a turtleneck, but in the warmer months I would trade out the turtleneck for a basic white tee, and the boots for some white sneakers. I love being able to make a purchase that can work for multiple seasons! Shop some of my velvet picks below!

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